Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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