Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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