I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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