did you get engaged???
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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