Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
