69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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