remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
