omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
