i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
