And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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