She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
