Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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