Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
