ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
