I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
