I could have mohawked her pubes.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize