win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
