normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
