UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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