no. you can't hotbox the world.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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