I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Of course I have a pirate flag
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
