one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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