with your own penis?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
