just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
