Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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