So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
