for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
