I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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