I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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