You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have aggressive nipples.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
