Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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