That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
