It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
