Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My breasts were aching with rage.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
