my mouth tastes like poor choices
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
