Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize