You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
