On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
