i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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