is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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