so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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