Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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