if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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