That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
