puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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