It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
