fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
