I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
