I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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