im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize