she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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