If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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