why didn't you poke me back
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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