They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
