That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
