I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
