yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
