I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
