she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
