after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
