Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
